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Holy Matrimony
by Steve Bussey
Happy 28th Anniversary to the dearest
and most amazing, one and only love of my life, my wife
Sharon!
There is a word in biblical Greek
called “synezeuxen” - it literally means “to be conjoined” -
or joined at the hip; rooted in the word “zeugos” or “yoked
together.”
This defines Sharon and I. You cannot
understand either one of us without understanding that we were
designed to be joined together - in life, in love, in work, in
play, in ministry, on mountaintops, in valleys, in parenthood,
in laughter, in tears, in sickness, in health, in poverty, in
riches, in head, in heart, in hand, in time, in space, for
eternity - IN ALL THINGS WE ARE ONE, and it still feel like
that isn’t even enough!!! Seriously! I can spend all day with
her (and I do) and never feel I need to be apart! In fact I
keep thinking, “I wish we could spend more time together!”
I cannot explain this mystery (despite
my attempts, and I am at this point a professional explainer -
as this and many other posts demonstrate!), I can only testify
to the reality that we were “made” to be together. Yes, while
we “chose” to be together (30 years ago with a promise ring,
29 years ago with an engagement ring, and 28 years ago today
with a wedding ring), I can and do covenant and declare in no
uncertain terms that we were “made” to be together.
Sharon and I just began to audit a
course on “The Bible and Human Sexuality” with Dr. Robert
Gagnon, the world’s foremost accurate living biblical scholar
on the topic - and he has meticulously defended that Jesus’
teaching on the entire topic is anchored in Jesus’ cosmic,
foundational teaching on the exclusive, monogamous
relationship anchored in Genesis and firmly established in
Mark 10:6-9:
“ 6 But from the beginning of the
creation, God ‘made them male and female.’ 7 ‘For this reason
a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his
wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are
no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined
together, let not man separate.’”
“Synezeuxen.” There it is -
“coinjoined” by who? By GOD. This is His creative working -
that before Sharon and I were even conceived, we were designed
by the eternal craftsman to “fit together as one.”
This does not mean we lack capacity or
individuality - but that we are ultimately at our absolute
best when together - but not together independent of our
Creator and Redeemer - but when that “matrimony” - a word
derived from Old French “matremoine,” from Latin
“mātrimōnium” (“marriage, wedlock”), from māter (“mother”) +
-mōnium (“obligation”) is not merely “conjugal” - it is HOLY
MATRIMONY!
We were made to be locked together! By
the way, that isn’t prison - that is freedom!
In other words our “oneness” as a
couple created to fit perfectly together - is only experienced
in its’ glorious fullness within the sanctified reality of the
“twoness” of our relationship or togetherness between Creator
and what HE has created and joined together!
To be married and be holy means the
surrender of “self” - being wholly disposed not to one another
- but aimed fully towards the love and glory of God!
Therefore our completeness is not
defined foremost by OUR being together but by our being
together IN HIM. For our dear friends who are single and not
married - this fulfillment is satisfied IN HIM ALONE. So this
completeness is found in God’s destiny, His desire for us to
experience the fullness of salvation, of complete redemption
and restoration in His Holy and fulfilling love.
Let me share why:
From that “active” and “continuous” and
absolutely “complete” (100%) aiming of HOLY LOVE to our
Creator, Preserver, Governor, and Redeemer - loving HIM with
ALL our hearts, minds, souls, and strengths, our love for one
another is the OVERFLOW of the self-giving love of the Father,
Son, and Holy Spirit poured into a life filled to the brink
with love for one another!!!
That love for one another then pours
out from our love to our children, our families, our friends,
our colleagues, our neighbors, our enemies, the world!
Therefore, from this “yoking together”
comes the fruit of the Holy Spirit - this marriage I have
enjoyed the fruit of for 28 years which feels like 28 minutes
has been a feast of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,
goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control! A feast
I have enjoyed so much from Sharon - but one in which I find I
so often fall short of, but for the grace of God and the grace
of my dear Sharon!
The self-giving love and grace of God
has poured into my life through the love and grace of my dear
wife - and has, through the years, demonstrated and testified
to the truth that I am refined and conformed and healed and
made whole more and more into the restored image of God’s
holiness through my marriage! The same can be true for those
who are single. The same can be true for us all!
It’s impossible to explain this mystery
except to say I know it and testify to it because I have
experienced this joy unspeakable!
Therefore, may every second of every
minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month
of every year - what GOD has joined together (synezeuxen) -
may nothing “chōrizetō” (separate, vacate, tear apart).
I LOVE YOU SHARON - WHOLLY and HOLY NOW
AND FOREVERMORE!!!
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