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From Here... Just Like You
by Captain Christine
Tursi
“From here…just like you” has never
been my answer to the question “where are you from”. I’m a
little bit from everywhere but also from nowhere at all.
Always the new kid, the girl with the accent, the one from
somewhere in Europe. Different enough to never really fit in,
but not different enough for it to really cause me any
problems. Still, I’ve spent much of my time attempting to make
those slight irregularities in my identity as minimally
visible as possible. The trick is easy: mirror, assimilate,
dissimulate, integrate, adopt. Like what they like, do what
they do. Make what is theirs, yours. Fit in at all costs.
The problem with this strategy is that
you end up forgetting who you are and end up slowly
disappearing. And that is seriously not the point of it all or
the goal our Creator had in mind. I have (mostly) stopped
since and discovered that God wants to use me with all my
quirks, irregularities and not-fitting-ness. Allow me to make
a jump from my personal biography and experience to our shared
one as salvationists (this should not be that much of a jump
since salvationism is indeed a big part of my identity and I
would guess yours too if you’re reading this blog). The
Salvation Army used to be the new kid on the block, with the
weird accent (or to be more precise weird terminology), the
foreign theology, the alien practices. We used to be the
trouble-makers, the status-quo shakers, the radicals who
wanted to conquer the world for Jesus. We didn’t fit in, we
were definitely not meant to and we really didn’t care to
(maybe back then we were enough people, so it didn’t matter
and didn’t scare us off). In the world but really, really,
really not from this world with our uniforms, our bands, our
saved souls, transformed lives and incredible growth thanks to
the One calling us to be different.
What happened? At some point we
discovered the appeal of the world and made it our goal to
belong: mirror, assimilate, dissimulate, integrate, adopt.
Like what they like, do what they do. Make what is theirs,
yours. Fit in at all costs. We’re “from here just like you, we
swear”. Uniforms? No, you must be mistaken, we don’t wear
them anymore; sanctification? sacramental life? The. mercy.
seat? Surely not. We belong, nothing different about us.
Somewhere along the way we started rejecting our roots,
questioning our origins, putting aside our identity. What an
incredibly high price we paid, to be liked, to be accepted, to
start growing again. But did we get what we hoped for? The
truth is brutally visible in my context; it might not be in
yours or only slowly and silently creeping in on the margins;
sure, some areas show no trace of it at all (yet). But
sometimes I really fear we are disappearing and how will we
win the world for Jesus if we actually do disappear? (because
that is still our goal, right?)
In recent years I have developed a
strong belief in strong roots and wings to fly. Neither
extreme is healthy, a balance is hard to find but necessary. A
realistic lens on the past and a hopeful glance towards the
future. Non-negotiables we are convinced in and steps into the
unknown future we are ready to take (confident that the former
were inspired by God and the latter are known by God)… It all
sounds good but I think, really, the question that needs
answering first is do we even want to be The Salvation Army
any more? If we don’t, that is not a problem, there are enough
other churches we can start calling our homes. If on the
contrary our answer is yes then we can forget ever feeling at
home among the churches again (their friend, their ally, their
brothers and sisters but never their twins), “from here…just
like you” can never be our answer again or the assumption from
those observing us. I don’t know about you, but normal has
never really been my cup of tea and fitting in is not all it’s
cracked up to be.
We’re not “from here” and it shouldn’t
bother us anymore. We should fall in love with what makes us
“us” again. God created us exactly like that, and that is what
will help us win over the world for Him. I cannot wait to see
it happening.
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